


Harping on a subject

by Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Case Fic, F/M, Gabriel needs to learn to keep it in his pants, Supernatural STDs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 11:54:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19811773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness/pseuds/Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness
Summary: Gabriel's grace starts doing strange things, and the rest of Team Free Will wonder why.





	Harping on a subject

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Gabriel Bingo square, **'Powers go Wonky.'**

If it hadn’t been for the werewolf, Gabriel might have figured it out on his own, without anyone knowing. But noooo. His Dad had a really twisted sense of humor. 

“Oh buddy, did you pick the wrong one of us to charge at,” Gabriel told the werewolf, raising his fingers and snapping them with a smirk on his face. 

No silver bands reached out to bind the werewolf. Instead, a nearby tree dropped all of its (green) leaves at once. Gabriel had just enough time for his eyes to widen before the angry werewolf collided with him, and then they were on the ground, wrestling. He was much stronger than it, but it was on top of him. Not that a bite would harm him, even if the werewolf managed it. 

A gun fired, and the head of the werewolf on top of him burst like an overripe tomato. “Ugh,” Gabriel commented, shoving the body off of him and then swiping an arm across his face, smearing the gore around. 

Dean walked up, pistol still held in case there were more. “What happened?” he asked. 

“Something I don’t expect -you- to understand,” Gabriel quipped, giving his signature eyebrow wiggle. He was worried, though. Why hadn’t his powers worked? Or rather, why hadn’t his powers worked as he’d wanted? 

“No, brother,” Of course Cas had seen the whole thing, and now he was going to comment on it. “Your grace made the leaves fall instead of stopping the werewolf. How could that happen?”

Gabriel was wondering the same thing himself. And then...he had a sneaking suspicion. He really hoped he wasn’t right, but he’d check himself out thoroughly. Later, away from prying eyes. “Mental Spoonerism,” he said knowingly. “Meant to do one thing, but another image got in the way just before I snapped. Happens sometimes.” He refused to look at Cas, instead bending down and brushing himself off. 

“It’s never happened to me,” Castiel replied. “Are you sure that’s what happened, brother?”

“Yup!” Gabriel used his most nonchalant voice. It was a good thing his brother was gullible. 

Of course, that was when Sam walked up. “Why aren’t you just snapping yourself clean?” he asked, looking at Gabriel. 

“He’s being weird,” Dean supplied helpfully. “Find any others?”

“No, that was the last one,” Sam said, shaking his head and looking the others over. “I think we can go back to the motel room now. Gabriel, want to do the honors?” They’d realized where the werewolves were at the last minute, and Gabriel had snapped them out here because it was faster than taking the Impala, and there were lives at stake. 

“Sure!” Gabriel prayed to his father to let just this one snap work, and snapped his fingers confidently. “Oh...shit.” On the bright side, he hadn’t landed them on the moon, or the wilds of Alaska, or the middle of a war. In fact, they were home in the bunker. Only trouble was…

“What the hell, man? Where’s Baby?” Dean demanded. 

“Um. Back in, um, Michigan, I think?” Gabriel winced, knowing how Dean was about the car. 

“I will retrieve your car, Dean,” Cas said in a long-suffering tone before walking over to Gabriel. “What is wrong, brother?”

Gabriel wilted. If he’d thought he could deflect the issue or snap himself away with any accuracy, he would. But if he was right about the problem, the bunker was the best place to be. “IthinkImighthavefeatherlice,” he mumbled. 

“I did not hear you,” Castiel said, peering at him. “Is the problem affecting your voice now, too?”

“No, damn it...I think I might have feather lice!” Gabriel nearly yelled this time. Castiel took a decided step backwards from him; Gabriel couldn’t blame his brother. The two humans exchanged clueless looks. 

“What does that have to do with your grace?” asked Sam. 

“Supernatural feather lice can destroy an angel’s wings, and affect their ability to use their grace,” Castiel said, eyeing Gabriel as if he had a horrible disease. Which he kind of did. 

“You can get rid of them with a spell, though. We probably have all the ingredients we need here,” Gabriel attempted to be dismissive. “I can even do it myself. After you get rid of them, the damage heals and your grace goes back to working just fine.” 

“Yes, but...how did you get them, brother? Have you been speaking with other angels?” Castiel was still holding himself some distance from Gabriel, and reached up to scratch at his arm, likely unconsciously. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Gabriel said, turning to head toward the storeroom, only to find the way blocked by Sam, who had his arms across his chest. 

“It does if you’re talking to angels and not telling us,” the tall man said. “No more secret allies, remember?”

“Oh for--it wasn’t another angel, all right?!” Gabriel was getting angry. “If you /must/ know, I met a harpy in a bar last week and we had a little fling and apparently her grooming sucked...” he trailed off, as both Dean and Sam doubled over in laughter. Cas looked vaguely ill. 

“You _fucked_ a _harpy_?” Dean demanded, as soon as he got his breath back. 

“They aren’t as disgusting as the myths make them sound!” Gabriel protested, eliciting more laughter from the brothers. 

“Really? ‘Cause you just admitted you got a supernatural STD from one,” Sam pointed out. 

Gabriel shoved Sam out of the way, grumbling about stupid humans and things they didn’t understand as he went to find the ingredients for the spell to rid himself /and/ his room of the lice.


End file.
